Listen To Your Heart
by Draco87
Summary: Sometimes pain and love are intertwined with ones fate. Naruto tries to cope with both as reality forces him to mature. A Naruhina story.


NaruHina

His mind was lost in thought, his gaze set against the blur of the middday sun coming through the branches. His back ached terribly, stiff and sore against the hard rough bark of the trunk as he sat prone thinking. Almost oblivious to his reason for not jostling himself into a more relaxing position when he felt movement.

Suddenly being brought back to reality by the sudden stirring he allowed his gaze to drift down until his vision was full of the beautiful tear soaked face of the kunoichi whose cheek rested against his chest. He hadn't dared to move her after she had succumbed to sleep. It was the only thing that seemed to be able to ebb the flow of tears from her eyes and it hurt him to see her so sad. Hurt him in a way he wasn't sure he could explain or knew why, it just.. well..did.

She appeared to be rousing and although he was worried she might start crying again he was interested in the idea of stretching out and getting his back in a better position. He had been pinned against this trunk for over 2 hours after she had cried herself to exhaustion. 'but over what?'

He still wasn't sure why she was so upset. She had been incoherent through all the tears and sobs and he could do liuttle to quiet her sorrow so he just held her and let her cry until it had taken its toll and she passed out in his arms.

*Flashback

He'd been so upset by the new that he had to get his frustration out. I couldn't be real, his master could die! The pervy sage was one of the great Sannin. They were supposed to be unstoppable, and yet this morning the hokage had brought him into her office.

He had thought he'd screwed up on a recent mission and she wanted to scold him. After the conversation that transpired he would have take a thousand scolding instead of the news she had given him. Jiraya dead and it wasn't a joke, not some prank, just gone...forever.

He had needed to get his rage out and the only thing that made sense afte the Hokage had refused to let him go on any missions was to train. He found himself at Rock Lee's old training ground punch a tree over and over. His fist were bleeding from every knuckle, but he didn't care. Until her heard a crying voice begging him to stop and slamming intomhim as he turned around.

It was Hinata! 'What the, why is Hinata.."

She collapsed into him sobbing begging him to stop and holding onto him for dear life. He din't know why, but something in that moment seemed to break him and he collapsed against the tree and just let her sob while he stared up into the morning sky.

*Flashback End

They had never been this close before and he'd never gotten a good look at her face truly. She was always hiding behind her hands or bury her face shyly behind her raised collar... and yet as he watched her rest, eyes fluttering to the apparent dreams in her subconscious he couldn't help, but stare. 'she's really pretty you know, i wonder why she hides her face all the time'

Her body stirring slightly her eyes finally opened a small fraction. A small smile warmed her face and she nuzzled her face into his chest as her hands gripped the folds of his jacket. "Just a little longer" she barely whispered "this is my favorite dream."

Naruto just stared down in confused shock momentarily speachless. Finally he croaked " Uh Hinata,...What dream?"

"This one silly..." she was barely conscious but coming around. " where i just get to lay in Narutos arms until ... until he... he.." her eyes shot open in a panic. She drew her gaze skyward and found herself staring into two brilliant blue orbs full of confusion and concern.

Realization dawning on her, her face flushed crimson and she barely peeped " _Naruto_!"

"Uh.. Yeah Hinata? Did you have a dream about me or something?"

If possible Hinata's face grew even redder than before. Instincts kicked in and she tried to pull away from Naruto. 'I have to get away! He can't find out! Not like this!' but she couldn't move. Just as soon as her hand had touched his chest and started to push his hand had grabbed her wrist. Not hard, not painfully really at all, he didn't have to. she was sitting on his lap her face towards his. Clearly shed been lying on him, and in the moment of contact her resolve melted. He was holding her. He didn't want her to leave and somehow her wall came crashing down.

"Yes" Her face deep red and her eyes averted from his gaze "I..I did have a dream..well dreams about you."

His eyes widened a little at her sudden revelation "Why are you having dreams about crying and me holding you hina.." Even as he said it something started to shift like a puzzle in his head, but there was no need.

"I don't cry in my dreams... they are usually good dreams abo...about ...you."

"But why would you be dreaming about me?"

They went silent for a moment that seemed to stretch for hours before she took a deep breath.

"Hina..?" he started, but her interuption stopped him in his tracks.

"Beca...Because I love you!" She almost shouted it and closed her eyes almost as if she couldn't bear to see his reaction to her confession.

Another moment went by with Hinata cleching her fists trying not to run away as tears threatend to beak free from the anguish of waiting for his response.

'say something to her' he thought , but the shcock was just wearing off.

"Hina..Hinata" his voice seemed strained and finally she looked up and opened her eyes to his. Finally prepared to take her rejection.

"Hinata..did you mean...well what you just said?"

She stared at him "What? Uh ...Yeah" she barely whispered, her confidence now exherted. " Is that bad?"

He seemed to truly consider her question which surprised her and then in an almost sad tone he replied "I don't really know Hinata, no one has ever really loved me before." He said it almost like he was coming to a conlusion in his own head about his past and it broke her heart to hear him talk about himself like that.

"Naruto I'm sure you have been loved, you parents.."

"Yeah they died when i was born. Guess they probably did love me, but they havent really been here with me." He seemed to be deep in thought " Most people are scared of me I think. You know being the vessel for an evil fox demon and all." He tried to play it off with one of his big grins.

"I'm not frightened of you." She wispered

Her voice brought him back from his thoughts "Huh? I kinda figured thats why you were always so shy around me. It's ok, it jused to make me sad, but I'm used to it no.."

Her voice grew dramatically "Of course I'm not frightened of you Naruto-Kun!" She stared intently into his eye throwing him off gaurd. " I love you!" she said again more confidently.

"I don't know much, im not smart, or strong, or talented..,but" She took a long breath "But i feel my heart beat like crazy when you look at me, and my skin tingles when i brush against you, I think about you every day from the first day we met. You were so kind to me. Me! The rich girl with the freaky eyes! You treated me like a person and stood up for me. You gave me the strength to stand up for myself."

"Hin.."

"Please let me finish!" Her voice was starting to break. It seemed like her resolve was only temporary and she needed to get her thought out. "You may not love me and that is your right. I just want you to be happy...even..even if its not with me." should took a pause as she seemed to consider this momentarily closing her eyes and tears began to flow down her cheeks. " But i love you okay!? You have become someone very important to me" she began to yell and cry at the same time. " I can't stand to see you hurt or to put yourself in danger! I'd rather die than watch you in pain..I just...I just can't take it.."

Finally succumbing to the onslaught of emotions she buried her face in his chest and began to cry again. "I don't wa...want...to..lose you!"

He sat there stunned for a few moments. He had never considered that his pain or even death would mean much to anyone except maybe Jiraya. After Jiraya's death he had broken slightly and lost his way. His world seemed empty without his master. They had spent every day for three years together and now he was dead, dead for protecting him. In his heart he wanted to take the pervy sage's place.

Yet her was another person he had never seemed to notice that claimed she loved him. Unknowingly he was hurting her with his actions. Her and how many others. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace while she continued to sob into him. "Im sorry Hinata... I didn't know...I.."

He didn't know what to say. "I'm not sure what love really is Hinata..I do.."

She gripped him tighter but her sobs seem to be calming.'Here it comes, He doesn't love me!'

"Would you... would you be willing to help me learn? How love should feel?"

Her body went still and he heard her gasp. She looked up at him disbelief and tears in her eyes. "Naruto-Kun?" and then she was back in a dream. She had to be, it couldn't be real. Naruto had leaned towards her. He had cupped her cheek in his hand and brought his lips to hers. It had to be a deam,but...but, his lips were so warm and soft compared to the Naruto in her dreams.

She grabbed him still tighter afraid she really was dreaming and terrified of waking up and losing this moment with the man she'd loved all her life.

It was minutes after they broke away from their first kiss and she lay resting her head against him before she was willing to accept the truth of her reality and loosen her grip on him. Slowly stroking her hair he sat there with here completely forgetting his original back pain.

Her face still laying against his chest she finally had to ask, terrified of the truth. "Naruto?"

"Hmm? Yeah?"

"Did yo...did you only kiss me because you felt you had to because i told you...well what i did?"

He started abrubtly "Huh?!" "You think I would do that?"

"Uh...I'm sorry...you just never seemed, well interested in...in me..befo.."

"Hinata I don't really open up to people, look what happened when i got close to Jiraya.."

His voice went almost to a whisper "...he..he died..because of me."

Hinata brought her face level with his and placing a hand on each cheek she said "No Naruto, it is not your fault. "

He bagan to interupt, but she persisted,"You did not kill Jiraya! There are bad people in the world Naruto and they do awful things. Those people are at fault, the akatsuki, not you. Jiraya loved you and he wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"That's part of loving someone, you're willing to but their life before your own."


End file.
